Mommyhood

I've been thinking lately about "mommyhood". Is it work? Is it a job? What is it? My interest is always sparked by women's studies/debates. I enjoyed every women's studies class I took in college and high school, even if I thought some of the points were extreme. They always made me look at society differently. However, now that I think about it, they weren't necessarily historically based. They always spoke about current issues, or barely talked about the last 50-75 years. Anyway.

I had an acquaintance blogger recently write about how being a mother is easy (Everyone and anyone can do it. It also only involves keeping the child alive til the age of 18), it is not a job (there is no financial compensation), and his views won't change if he ever becomes a father (he bases his opinions on "facts", even though he doesn't spend time around children or have any of his own).

This pushed my buttons. Mainly because I am/will be a mother very shortly (oh my goodness, three months to go!) and the plan so far is for me to be a SAHM. Yes, you read that right. Two college degrees will go toward raising my children. Given my career path so far, it doesn't make financial sense for daycare to be an option (this could possibly change in the future; one never knows). Though of course there is Grandparent Daycare to consider! I would also like to home school my children. I want to raise them every day. I don't want to leave my genetic material to be controlled and influenced by strangers and government schools. I know my own qualifications and I think I have pretty good ones. Luckily so does the father of my child!

Let's give credit where credit is due. Someone has to earn the money. I admire those who can do it all and raise happy, productive children. They are superwomen. Most people luckily get a teammate. I think it is difficult to have to go to work every day in order to provide but know you're missing a lot of the child-raising action. And then there are SAHD. Mommyhood is not just reserved for women.

Why are there people out there who look negatively on women who stay at home with children? It is difficult, involves sacrifices, and to be successful at it one would have to be smart and dedicated. Do their research. Not be lazy. A full-time working mother could be questioned as selfish... why did she decide to have children? If she's a poor, single mother, that would make me wonder all the more. But... I don't do that. I know that every woman and her desires are different. They are all valid.  

But, most of all, I need to remember not to judge myself. I am probably my own harshest critic. There are days I wonder if I'll ever be successful if I don't have that job that everyone else covets... but what if I did get that job and never had children? Is it time well spent or money earned that makes a life worthwhile? A mixture of both? Every person has his own answer to that question. We each only get one life to live. And I know that being a wife and mother makes mine worth it every minute, every day.

I would suggest reading Dr. Denmark said it! a book written by the longest practicing pediatrician (75 years). She happens to be from Alpharetta, GA. A member of our church gave us a copy when he found out we were pregnant. It was so fascinating that I read it in one day, but I can tell it will be a book I go to again and again.

Look at that belly! I'm 24 weeks in this picture. Our boy is about a pound and a half. I've gained five at this point! Petra sure likes it; more cushion for cuddling!