He slept ten hours straight last night. Then, when he ate for an hour and was still wide awake (even after falling asleep while nursing), and I put him in his bed anyway (cause unless something is wrong I only stay up with him for an hour during the night), he was quiet and put himself back to sleep for two more hours without making a peep!
I'm pretty sure that was Walt's way of saying: "I'm thankful for you, mommy. I love you."
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Politeness is a Virtue
One of my favorite things about Frances was that before he would come inside the house, he would always pause to clean his claws on the welcome mat.
Last night at 3:30am instead of either eating or sleeping, the only two things I would find acceptable at that hour, Walter was staring at me and smiling and sticking out his tongue. Cute; the boy knows how to work his audience!
I've forgotten how much longer it takes my bath towel to dry in the cold winter rather than the hot summer. Sad.
Another thing I will greatly miss is that Frances would follow us down the street meowing at us to come back when Dave and I would go for a walk.
Last night at 3:30am instead of either eating or sleeping, the only two things I would find acceptable at that hour, Walter was staring at me and smiling and sticking out his tongue. Cute; the boy knows how to work his audience!
I've forgotten how much longer it takes my bath towel to dry in the cold winter rather than the hot summer. Sad.
Another thing I will greatly miss is that Frances would follow us down the street meowing at us to come back when Dave and I would go for a walk.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sunday Evening Thoughts
Today at Costco this big lady rushes past me, Dave and baby shouting "Hey Walter!" and Dave and I look at each other confused and surprised until we see the sample guy with the name tag "Walter" peddling his goods next to us.
The weekend has gone wonderfully despite the death in our little family. That and my family has to convince me that overcooked pork and undercooked vegetables suffices as a decent meal. It never works out for me when I just throw things into a casserole dish and put it in the oven hoping it'll all come together perfectly. Or the crockpot. I have to have a decent recipe to make that device work.
It is inevitable that when I put on a coat or a pair of pants that hasn't been washed in awhile that I will find at least one tissue in one pocket... does this happen to anyone else? I'd like to blame this on winter-time but David would disagree. I blame instead the nose job I had as a 16 year old which left my nose health in shambles ever since.
My father in law likes reading my blog because he finds the in-person Katherine to be a little different (or a little less revealing) than blogger Katherine. I think this is always true when I write. I have some friends I've been completely different with via email and it is so much easier to write certain things down than to have to live them face-to-face. This is compounded by the internet being a haven for publicly shared private information. Perceived anonymity that is completely false.
I'm glad I'm not pregnant anymore so I can enjoy a glass of wine or two. That, a puzzle, a fire, and a movie with David is my idea of a good date night. Yes, we were already totally boring and ready to have children before we did.
The weekend has gone wonderfully despite the death in our little family. That and my family has to convince me that overcooked pork and undercooked vegetables suffices as a decent meal. It never works out for me when I just throw things into a casserole dish and put it in the oven hoping it'll all come together perfectly. Or the crockpot. I have to have a decent recipe to make that device work.
It is inevitable that when I put on a coat or a pair of pants that hasn't been washed in awhile that I will find at least one tissue in one pocket... does this happen to anyone else? I'd like to blame this on winter-time but David would disagree. I blame instead the nose job I had as a 16 year old which left my nose health in shambles ever since.
My father in law likes reading my blog because he finds the in-person Katherine to be a little different (or a little less revealing) than blogger Katherine. I think this is always true when I write. I have some friends I've been completely different with via email and it is so much easier to write certain things down than to have to live them face-to-face. This is compounded by the internet being a haven for publicly shared private information. Perceived anonymity that is completely false.
I'm glad I'm not pregnant anymore so I can enjoy a glass of wine or two. That, a puzzle, a fire, and a movie with David is my idea of a good date night. Yes, we were already totally boring and ready to have children before we did.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Efficiency Mode
A term coined by David to express one's state of mind when things are getting accomplished, usually at a speedy pace. It is easy to recognize in one's partner when they travel from chore to chore and you can't even ask how you can help cause then you'd be getting in the way.
I was going to write a blog about this week, how I am getting in the groove and how Walt lets me get things done during the day now. During his first nap in the morning I get ready for the day, eat breakfast, empty the dishwasher and make the bed. His afternoon nap, usually longer, provides me time to get one large chore done (or two medium ones). This can be making dinner (or banana pudding like on Wednesday) or an eventful household chore like cleaning the whole house or blowing and bagging leaves in the yard (why do we have so many oak trees on our small piece of property? I'm hoping the one large one won't drop its leaves this year or possibly they'll just disintegrate before they hit the ground).
But instead I will write about Friday evening.
David and I were getting Walt ready for bed. Everything was as it normally is and we were enjoying our time as a family (bedtime is always a fun routine with the three of us). We are dogsitting Tashi (my mother's shih tzu) this weekend and the three animals had been especially wild that day torturing each other (in between bouts of sleeping on all the surfaces in our living room of course). Walt was getting his nightly bottle - a puzzle, dinner, movie & bottle of wine waiting for us - when we heard a sharp meow from downstairs. I looked over the railing to check it out, but seeing two of the three small creatures on the landing and Frances by himself downstairs I wondered what it could have been. I called out to Frank and he didn't respond, so I stayed upstairs and went into the second bedroom to work on our Christmas card while David had some father/son time with Walt. Ironically I was writing down all the things we were thankful for in 2012 when I hear a scuffle and David shouts at me to come take Walt. I come out to the landing and David is looking at Frank huddled in the corner while the other two examine him (or bother him?) and Walt is crying in his bed. I pick up Walter, continue to feed him, and David comes in and says that Frank is acting paralyzed in his back legs. My adrenaline spikes as Frances meows and meows and David doesn't say things are getting any better. They go into the second bedroom and shut the door. Walt is full but not yet sleepy, smiling at me so it's hard to do anything else, but we go to see what's up with Frank. He's under the bed and flopping around using only his front paws and crying out every time he does it.
I finally get Walt to sleep and we find a 24 hour vet to take Frances to. He's hard to handle when he's happy so it takes a towel and some biting to get him into the carrier with him in such pain. Luckily Dave's parents were able to come over on short notice so we both could go to the vet. We get there and meanwhile Frances is shredding the carrier and while the tech examines him Frances is biting the towel and freaking out and causes his mouth to bleed. No obvious fractures and his back feet are significantly colder than his front (I felt them; they were scary cold). Diagnosis: a clot from underlying heart disease has caused paralysis. Prognosis: most likely would never be able to walk again even with significant medical intervention and care and even after that his heart would get worse, throw more clots, and he could die any time.
End result: I wish Frances was meowing at me to go outside right now, or to get out of the shower, or to hurry up and feed him... I had him for 7 1/2 years and we loved each other a lot. Not everyone understood him, but he and I were close. He was a good cat and I've been writing down all the silly things I can remember about him (I did the same for Shogo last year). I'm sad. I thought we had many more years together.
Life is short. Life is not perfect. But if we love every day together then when that final goodbye comes it's missing a good friend not regretting missed opportunities.
I was going to write a blog about this week, how I am getting in the groove and how Walt lets me get things done during the day now. During his first nap in the morning I get ready for the day, eat breakfast, empty the dishwasher and make the bed. His afternoon nap, usually longer, provides me time to get one large chore done (or two medium ones). This can be making dinner (or banana pudding like on Wednesday) or an eventful household chore like cleaning the whole house or blowing and bagging leaves in the yard (why do we have so many oak trees on our small piece of property? I'm hoping the one large one won't drop its leaves this year or possibly they'll just disintegrate before they hit the ground).
But instead I will write about Friday evening.
David and I were getting Walt ready for bed. Everything was as it normally is and we were enjoying our time as a family (bedtime is always a fun routine with the three of us). We are dogsitting Tashi (my mother's shih tzu) this weekend and the three animals had been especially wild that day torturing each other (in between bouts of sleeping on all the surfaces in our living room of course). Walt was getting his nightly bottle - a puzzle, dinner, movie & bottle of wine waiting for us - when we heard a sharp meow from downstairs. I looked over the railing to check it out, but seeing two of the three small creatures on the landing and Frances by himself downstairs I wondered what it could have been. I called out to Frank and he didn't respond, so I stayed upstairs and went into the second bedroom to work on our Christmas card while David had some father/son time with Walt. Ironically I was writing down all the things we were thankful for in 2012 when I hear a scuffle and David shouts at me to come take Walt. I come out to the landing and David is looking at Frank huddled in the corner while the other two examine him (or bother him?) and Walt is crying in his bed. I pick up Walter, continue to feed him, and David comes in and says that Frank is acting paralyzed in his back legs. My adrenaline spikes as Frances meows and meows and David doesn't say things are getting any better. They go into the second bedroom and shut the door. Walt is full but not yet sleepy, smiling at me so it's hard to do anything else, but we go to see what's up with Frank. He's under the bed and flopping around using only his front paws and crying out every time he does it.
I finally get Walt to sleep and we find a 24 hour vet to take Frances to. He's hard to handle when he's happy so it takes a towel and some biting to get him into the carrier with him in such pain. Luckily Dave's parents were able to come over on short notice so we both could go to the vet. We get there and meanwhile Frances is shredding the carrier and while the tech examines him Frances is biting the towel and freaking out and causes his mouth to bleed. No obvious fractures and his back feet are significantly colder than his front (I felt them; they were scary cold). Diagnosis: a clot from underlying heart disease has caused paralysis. Prognosis: most likely would never be able to walk again even with significant medical intervention and care and even after that his heart would get worse, throw more clots, and he could die any time.
End result: I wish Frances was meowing at me to go outside right now, or to get out of the shower, or to hurry up and feed him... I had him for 7 1/2 years and we loved each other a lot. Not everyone understood him, but he and I were close. He was a good cat and I've been writing down all the silly things I can remember about him (I did the same for Shogo last year). I'm sad. I thought we had many more years together.
Life is short. Life is not perfect. But if we love every day together then when that final goodbye comes it's missing a good friend not regretting missed opportunities.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Snippets
We have an evil dog neighbor. Our kitchen sink window looks directly to the side of our neighbor's house and their backyard. They have two windows facing us. In the closest window, the dog - some pointer breed - will sit there, framed by the white curtains, giving you the death stare and not moving. Those types of dogs are made for the death stare. Creepy.
Watching two and a half hours of Walking Dead the other night caused me great anxiety. I spent the rest of the evening looking at our supplies of canned goods in the pantry and wondering where we could store extra water.
A couple days ago it was a Babies R Us kind of day. I met my friend at the one in Perimeter and ended up running into my aunt there. And then my aunt ran into her sister-in-law.
We've encountered our first cold. Walt has no symptoms except congestion. But what a symptom! I'm constantly worried about his ability to breathe. Luckily we have bulb syringes, saline solution, a humidifier, and lots of love on hand to combat this. Yes he cries during our mucus extraction surgeries.
He slept 9 hours straight last night! Victory is ours!
Today we're going to take our holiday photos for our Christmas card... I can't believe it's already that time of year!
Watching two and a half hours of Walking Dead the other night caused me great anxiety. I spent the rest of the evening looking at our supplies of canned goods in the pantry and wondering where we could store extra water.
A couple days ago it was a Babies R Us kind of day. I met my friend at the one in Perimeter and ended up running into my aunt there. And then my aunt ran into her sister-in-law.
We've encountered our first cold. Walt has no symptoms except congestion. But what a symptom! I'm constantly worried about his ability to breathe. Luckily we have bulb syringes, saline solution, a humidifier, and lots of love on hand to combat this. Yes he cries during our mucus extraction surgeries.
He slept 9 hours straight last night! Victory is ours!
Today we're going to take our holiday photos for our Christmas card... I can't believe it's already that time of year!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
An extra hour at night means nothing to a baby
My son likes to collect lint in between his fingers. We have to clean it out daily. Today was a lot.
This weekend was a great weekend despite my brother going home to Belgium! Let's see... a visit from Dave's cousin just to hold the baby, baked salmon, church, yard work, sleep, movies, puzzles, my book, extra Halloween candy: all good things.
This week should be an interesting week. An important election on Tuesday and I'm wondering how the US/world will react to either result. However, I'm more excited about my expensive Catbird Pikkolo baby carrier arriving in time to take the baby to the polls with me. I'm not sure it's going to happen though. I guess I will have to come up with an alternative. I'm wondering if a screaming baby will help move me ahead in the line come Tuesday?
This weekend was a great weekend despite my brother going home to Belgium! Let's see... a visit from Dave's cousin just to hold the baby, baked salmon, church, yard work, sleep, movies, puzzles, my book, extra Halloween candy: all good things.
This week should be an interesting week. An important election on Tuesday and I'm wondering how the US/world will react to either result. However, I'm more excited about my expensive Catbird Pikkolo baby carrier arriving in time to take the baby to the polls with me. I'm not sure it's going to happen though. I guess I will have to come up with an alternative. I'm wondering if a screaming baby will help move me ahead in the line come Tuesday?
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Friendships post-baby
I knew my life would change, but how much I could not guess beforehand. No one knows what it is going to be like to be a parent. And every situation is different too. But no one "on the outside" can grasp what it is like to have your own child. I thought I knew what it was like, but there is just no way. And you cannot maintain the same life as you once had. Maybe some people do, but that seems unimaginable to me. Maybe it's just that I am a different person now and not much else has changed.
Friends. It's hard to stay friends with people who don't quite get you. Who live a completely different life than you do. I can't claim to have many close friends. But I considered those in my inner circle to be indefatigable. I had hoped nothing would change. For a while it was hard to even get to my phone to answer calls or texts. Now it seems like friendships are already shifting. I don't know what to do... I will always have to take care of Walter. I am lucky; I have babysitters at the tips of my fingers. But I still have to plan ahead if I want to go somewhere on my own. I enjoy bringing Walt with me, but there's bags of baby utilities to bring and naps and food to schedule around, and I am still a slave to my own body (on my bad days I would characterize it like that). Even though Walt is no longer inside of me, I am still his sole source of food. I know that could change if I buy some formula, but my body would not immediately stop producing milk even if I did that. I would get an infection if I cut him off cold turkey. So for the next year this symbiotic relationship will continue (by my choice of course).
Maybe I did have an illusion even while pregnant that nothing would change; I could just lug my baby gear around with me to hang out whenever I wanted... I could work and read and create and... well, I still will do those things. But in terms of relationships... I am lucky for the friends I do have. I am closer to some people now, I still have my true die hard friends, and my family is there for me too. They don't give the baby back when he starts crying. He is a cute crier. His bottom lip pouts out and Mr. Grumpus emerges...
I will have to wait it out. If I'm the only one who has changed, I just need to work harder at being the friend I always want to be and believe I am.
I should try to be funny in my next post. This seems heavy for a Saturday night.
Friends. It's hard to stay friends with people who don't quite get you. Who live a completely different life than you do. I can't claim to have many close friends. But I considered those in my inner circle to be indefatigable. I had hoped nothing would change. For a while it was hard to even get to my phone to answer calls or texts. Now it seems like friendships are already shifting. I don't know what to do... I will always have to take care of Walter. I am lucky; I have babysitters at the tips of my fingers. But I still have to plan ahead if I want to go somewhere on my own. I enjoy bringing Walt with me, but there's bags of baby utilities to bring and naps and food to schedule around, and I am still a slave to my own body (on my bad days I would characterize it like that). Even though Walt is no longer inside of me, I am still his sole source of food. I know that could change if I buy some formula, but my body would not immediately stop producing milk even if I did that. I would get an infection if I cut him off cold turkey. So for the next year this symbiotic relationship will continue (by my choice of course).
Maybe I did have an illusion even while pregnant that nothing would change; I could just lug my baby gear around with me to hang out whenever I wanted... I could work and read and create and... well, I still will do those things. But in terms of relationships... I am lucky for the friends I do have. I am closer to some people now, I still have my true die hard friends, and my family is there for me too. They don't give the baby back when he starts crying. He is a cute crier. His bottom lip pouts out and Mr. Grumpus emerges...
I will have to wait it out. If I'm the only one who has changed, I just need to work harder at being the friend I always want to be and believe I am.
I should try to be funny in my next post. This seems heavy for a Saturday night.
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